I wrote this book because the Lord showed me how to be healed of OCD, panic disorder (with and without agoraphobia), and chronic anxiety. This book is the faithfulness of the Lord when He said that He works everything out for the good of those who love Him, and that He will restore the years that the locusts have eaten. While weakness is never good, He is allowing me to not have it be in vain. He is using my weakness to help others to glorify Him. I am humbled and incredibly grateful for that.
Now, it took many years of me being “disordered” before I was willing to take the steps that the Lord set before me. At first, I did even realize that there were steps to take. Even though I do have a degree in psychology, I did not understand that the current idea of people ‘just having’ anxiety disorders through no action of their own, was wrong.
You see, anxiety disorder is sort of like gaining too much weight. At first, you might just have an extra bite here or there. You might skip a day of exercise here, or cut short a workout there. Yes, your metabolism slows, you might have babies, or you might have a situation where you cannot eat properly, but the root of the problem is how much you deliberately put in your mouth. How much you choose to chew and swallow. How much you decide to exercise, or how much you choose to rest.
Eventually your overeating feeds on itself. You get used to eating poor foods and your joints are bearing so much weight it hurts too much to exercise. So you keep eating, not adjusting your calorie intake with your calorie output. What started out as a little weakness here and there turned into 50 extra pounds, and you are not sure how that happened.
The same holds true with anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders are dependent on thoughts that we deliberately choose to think. It might start with a tendency to be a bit ‘stressy’ by nature, or it might be a situation in our lives with which we have trouble coping. In any case, we start indulging in more anxious thoughts. We get into bad mental habits of stressful thoughts and not even realize it. Those thoughts eventually start feeding on themselves. We get so used to thinking bad thoughts that we do not realize that up to 100% of our daily thoughts are bad, are stressful. Then, because the body and mind are tied to one another, our bodies react to what is in our minds.
That was me. I did not realize that the Lord gave me the ability and told me EXACTLY what to do to prevent anxiety disorders and heal them. I got so angry when I told people how I felt and they would say “Well, just stop it then.”. As if I wanted to be this way but was just too lazy to stop! I would say “Ok, you stop your heart from beating right now…ready? GO! See, you cannot do that because it is natural. I cannot stop my bad thoughts because they are natural!”. Even though they meant well, and in fact their statement did hold the key, I was too deep in my own fears to realize that there was a way out.
Frankly, I got tired of people who had NO idea what a panic attack felt like, had no idea what it was like to eat antacids like candy or be afraid to leave their own house, trying to tell me what to do.
That is why I wanted to write this. I want you to know that I am not some normal person who has no clue, but that I was just as bad off as you are, and there IS a way, there IS a hope. You can be healed from this. Yes it will take work from you. You will cry sometimes, stomp your feet sometimes, sail easily through sometimes, and sometimes feel like this will never work at all. But it will work because the Lord is faithful. The Lord created our bodies, minds, emotions, and spirits. He knows best how to get all of those working correctly, and He tells us how in the Bible. We just sometimes need someone to show us where to read, how to change our behaviors, how to apply His wisdom to our lives. His wisdom is for us now, to heal us in our day to day trials.
Please allow me to show you what He taught me. You can have freedom. You can live your life without anxiety and fear. It will take some work but He has shown me how, and I will share what He has taught me. You can be free from this. There is hope.